It's been a while since I've written. I thought about apologizing, but life has truly been a whirlwind of busyness and emotion- plus, I'm not sure anyone even reads so I will refrain.
As of 10 minutes ago I am obsessed with the Brandon Heath song, "Love Never Fails". I needed to hear those lyrics today. To remind me what love- especially His love is all about.
The past month and a half have been amazing. I graduated college. I passed my boards (Jodi Marie Messer, RN, BSN). I have spent time with family, friends, and Jeremy. I am incredibly blessed. Beyond blessed. I have a home. My needs are met. I am loved.
This is not to say that the last month and a half has been easy. The last month and a half has been anything but easy.
I have not found a job, I had to move back in with my parents in Roanoke, and I am broke. Although I am going through what most just-out-of-college kids are facing- I am in shock. I am a nurse. I am supposed to be able to find a job no problem. Not so. I do not have what most jobs are asking for- experience.
I have no control in my life, and it is breaking me. I am emotionally exhausted. I have been too exhausted to write about it. Because, I just get upset and broken down like I have been since I walked across the stage and turned my tassel.
Why is it when we are challenged, that our faith flourishes? I feel stronger in my faith than I have in a while, but even this doesn't touch the defeat I feel some days. I need camp. I need to think. I need to pray. I need to be understood.
When you are upset about something, do you tell yourself silly things like- "If I just had a cup of coffee I think I would feel better"? Because I do. Sometimes it even works.
I am a weirdo. More later.
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