Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Love Never Fails

It's been a while since I've written. I thought about apologizing, but life has truly been a whirlwind of busyness and emotion- plus, I'm not sure anyone even reads so I will refrain.

As of 10 minutes ago I am obsessed with the Brandon Heath song, "Love Never Fails". I needed to hear those lyrics today. To remind me what love- especially His love is all about.

The past month and a half have been amazing. I graduated college. I passed my boards (Jodi Marie Messer, RN, BSN). I have spent time with family, friends, and Jeremy. I am incredibly blessed. Beyond blessed. I have a home. My needs are met. I am loved.

This is not to say that the last month and a half has been easy. The last month and a half has been anything but easy.

I have not found a job, I had to move back in with my parents in Roanoke, and I am broke. Although I am going through what most just-out-of-college kids are facing- I am in shock. I am a nurse. I am supposed to be able to find a job no problem. Not so. I do not have what most jobs are asking for- experience.

I have no control in my life, and it is breaking me. I am emotionally exhausted. I have been too exhausted to write about it. Because, I just get upset and broken down like I have been since I walked across the stage and turned my tassel.

Why is it when we are challenged, that our faith flourishes? I feel stronger in my faith than I have in a while, but even this doesn't touch the defeat I feel some days. I need camp. I need to think. I need to pray. I need to be understood.

When you are upset about something, do you tell yourself silly things like- "If I just had a cup of coffee I  think I would feel better"? Because I do. Sometimes it even works.

I am a weirdo. More later.

5 comments:

  1. You're not a weirdo. I love you! I too need coffee to feel better... ALL the time.

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  2. I have felt that same yearning for Camp for years. This is the summer that I gave in - I'll spend three weeks there this summer.
    As much as we (as individuals) all need Camp, Camp also needs us just as much.
    Come visit - I know that I'll be glad to see you!

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  3. I completely understand what you're dealing with. I graduated last year and it took me 4 months to find a job. And on top of that, it wasn't even a job that dealt with the degree that I had just spend 5 years earning.

    I know it's hard. I remember how upset I was, and how I felt like I had just wasted 5 years of my life, and I felt kind of worthless and lost. Stick in there Jodi! When you least expect it, you will probably get 5 calls for interviews. =)

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  4. I love you and I'm very proud of you. If you ever want to come hang out in Alabaster, give me a call!

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  5. Everything happens for a reason, J! I am sure you get sick of hearing that. Whatever you are supposed to be doing or wherever you are supposed to be working will come. In the meantime, try to smother your frustration with the people and things that you love :)

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